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Nov. 23rd, 2004

01:21 pm

Page 42, Sentence 11.

Taken aback by such splendour, he gasped with astonishment.

Book : The Gilded Cage
Author : Josephine Cox.

Thats right...softcore porn ;) And proud of it!

Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: The Rasmus- in the shadows

Oct. 13th, 2004

05:14 pm

I fucking HATE my job.

Jul. 20th, 2004

12:14 pm - could things get any worse?

2 sundays ago, just after my mums friend's funeral, Im sitting at my laptop around 10pm, just cruising online, when my phone rings. Im thinking "wtf? at this time of night??" and my stomach churns. Cos ive only ever gotten bad news that late at night.
Sure enough, its my mum. "Im going to pick up your brother", she says. "Why?" i ask. "whats happened? whats wrong with him?" and so the story goes...

My brother was driving up to his friend's place around 9.10pm, when something hit his windshield. So he stopped quickly, as he wasnt sure what it was (we found out later it was an egg). So as he stopped, two guys hop in the backseat, hold a knife to his throat, and told him to drive. He, not being stupid, did what they said. They took him out about 15 mins away to where he was, near a swamp. One then held him back in his seat while the other cut up his face with his knife and the other guy's knife was held on him as well. They were quoting a scene from The Fight Club to each other (which, my brother said, if he wasnt as scared, he wouldve laughed at them, as they thought it made them sound tough but just made them look really pathetic). They eventually order him to strip off his clothes and walk away. He did this.
By sheer stroke of luck, they happened to choose an area that was sort of near one of his closest friend's place. So he walked there. When he finally got there, she opened the door, and he collapsed, from shock and exhaustion (it was still a fair way away from where they stopped). Her parents rang my mum and my mum and sister went to get him, with some clothes.
When my mum told me what happened, I was shaking all over. I could not believe, COULD NOT BELIEVE, that these CUNTS had the audacity to do this to MY brother. And the stripping part! It made me feel so humiliated and degraded on his behalf.
I met them up at the police station, because my mum wanted my brother to file a report. When i saw him, i gave him a big hug and just looked at him. He looked tired, shaken, and his face was covered in cuts and blood where they had cut him.
We went inside to file a report. Now, i didnt want us to go to the police station near home as I had had a bad experience with the cops there twice before. But mum insisted as it was the closest. They took my brother out the back to interview him for 2 hours. Cut to the chase? They didnt think his story was "plausible". Despite cuts and blood ALL over his face, his friend and her parents as witnesses, and the car (which, remarkabley, was NOT stolen, they left it where they had stopped), and testimonies from MANY people to state there is NO WAY IN HELL my brother would make something like this up (he just would not. There is NO WAY my brother would think up something like that, he is honest to a FAULT.), they didnt believe him. We urged him to go to another police station but he has been burned now and doesnt trust ANY cops.
I still burn with anger at the thought of those fucking arsehole cops.

Jul. 8th, 2004

07:34 am

Last Friday night, my mum went out for drinks with a few close friends that she hadnt seen for a few weeks.
She was having a great night, catching up with people, in particular one lady, Jeanette, that she had grown quiet
close to. Her and Jeanette are chatting away when, literally in midsentence, Jeanette collapsed into my mum's lap. Well, everyone laughed at first, thinking she was fooling around. It quickly became quite clear she wasn't. My mum and another lady started administering CPR and an ambulance was called. Jeanette was taken to hospital where they determined she had had a heart attack, but couldnt understand how or why, seeing as how there was absolutely NO warning - usually heart attack victims complain of arm/chest pain for some time beforehand first. She also had no history whatsoever of this in her family. She was brought into hospital in a coma. She has been in there 6 days, and has never woken up. My mum has visited every day for hours at a time, just talking to her. We clung to hope, any hope, that she would wake up and there would be no, or minimal, brain damage, as they had detected some during a test.
My mum found out last night there is no brain activity, and there hasn't been since she was admitted to hospital.
Even if Jeanette woke up now, she would be in a vegetive state. The family have decided to turn off the life support.

This baffles and shocks me deeply. This lady was FINE last week. She was fine the night it happened. No sign of any illness or pain at all. Her family, and my mum, is left to wonder Why? Could they have done any more? I know my mum is secretly blaming herself, thinking she could have done more. But there was nothing else she could do.

RIP Jeanette. Thank you for being such a supportive and wonderful friend to my Mum when she needed it most.

Jun. 19th, 2004

10:44 pm - results below

jeez, thats a bit rough!

10:43 pm

honey_77's LJ stalker is thothendoomclaw!
thothendoomclaw is stalking you because you got better results for the 'acronym' thing than them. They are also slowly poisoning you!

LiveJournal Username:

LJ Stalker Finder
From Go-Quiz.com

10:25 pm - shitty weather ay mayte.

Ok, so, i showed the bf this journal. A good friend of mine pointed out it would save me alot of talking, as then the bf could read it and I wouldnt have to repeat things over and over, like you have to do for most men. Thanks friend ;)
So who knows if any of it will sink in? Saw him today...we talked a bit...I tried to explain how I was feeling, that I'd just lost any interest in fixing our relationship..he seemed to listen, but then he has "seemed" to listen before, so who knows. I also tried (again) to talk to him about the seeing each other issue, but he avoided it (again). Its the usual story : He will only see me when its suitable for him, no matter what I have to do or the risk i have to take. So I told him i'd quit seeing so much of him on my time, that he can make time for me. It probably wont work but if it doesnt, that will only lead to us not seeing each other at all. But hey, if thats what it takes, so be it. I have too much other shit in my life without trying to fix us single handedly again. If he does something, especially about the seeing each other problem, then great. We get back on track. If he doesnt, well then. Its time to say goodbye then.
On a lighter note...
my son was picked for the Junior School Council!! YAY! (probably cos he talks too much. Like his mother.)

Jun. 18th, 2004

04:52 pm - right.

so...the bf wants us to "be closer". I asked him how he expects to be closer when he works 50-60 hours a week, never rings me, never sees me, and just generally acts like he doesnt have a girlfriend. Which look, at the moment? Fine by me, all things considered. The sex is fantastic, but that always has been... and it has always been the ONLY thing that has been trouble free in our relationship. I mean yeah, sex is a good thing...but when its the ONLY good thing, you have to re-think things a little.
Sigh...i think, when something nice happens for me, if it does, i might just faint from the shock of it all.
And in the meantime, i paint a smile on my face and act to the world like eveythings just fine with me.
Precisely why i write it in here, cos no one reads it!
No one even knows about this place, except the person who told me about it and his fiancee who, i have to say as i speak to the empty air that is no one out there, cracks me up with her entries. She's a funny girly. And Mike is...Mike. hehe!
Well. I shall cease to talk to the empty air now and...take the dog for a walk.

Jun. 12th, 2004

12:26 am - bah.

I hate my life.
I am so sick of doing things for people and getting fuck all, no thanks or anything, in return.
I just want to run away and never come back. Im sick of crying myself to sleep every night.

Oh who the fuck cares anyway?? Who's ever gonna read this? WHO CARES WHO THE FUCK CARES I DONT NO ONE DOES
FUCKIT ALL TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hat e it. i hate depression i hate tryigb so fucking hard to do the right thing and no one seems to notice or care im being the best mother i can be trying to be the best personi can be do u thin kany one fucking notices no how can thy no one fucking asks or rings or
i dont care.

Current Mood: sadsad

May. 14th, 2004

09:13 pm

Some good things happened today. Some not so good things. I got another job. Fired tuesday, hired friday. Not bad.

Ok well, that was the only good thing.

The other thing is my health issue. My so called boyfriend hasnt supported me at all. He just stays back at work til 9 every night even though he doesnt get paid and leaves at 7am. We dont even live together (probably a good move on my part) So basically we havent spoken all week.And he's the only one that nows about my health, I havent told anyone yet. So ive had no-one. And it has been really hurtful and lonely. I really feel like i need support right now in the face of this..but lets face it. I picked the wrong guy from the start. I shouldve listened to those who tried to warn me.

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